Monday, October 17, 2011

O, Canada!

A lot of people in Europe have been curious about what the typical Canadian lifestyle is like, and so I'm here to break it down for you and tell you all what we're really 'aboot'. First and foremost, we do live in igloos. I hope you enjoy looking at a series of pictures because I feel that this way, I can better explain my home and native land to you. The first picture is my house. My bedroom is on the left and has a great view of the maple trees. While living in Italy, I've had a lot of cravings for my favourite foods like bacon, maple syrup and poutine,
My humble abode.
the true staples of our nation.
I think I've complained about the bus system before here in Rome which really makes me miss having my own personal form of transportation. Last year for Christmas my parents were kind enough to buy me my own team of huskies for my dogsled. It makes getting around so much easier. Speaking of my parents, they both have really good jobs. My mom works in the fur trade and my dad is a professional hockey player. I'm really close to them, as well as my older sister Nicole. The photo on the right is of her and I tanning on my birthday. Since my birthday is in July, we only had a foot of snow, which was quite disappointing.

Getting my tan on with Nicole.
Lately, I've been giving a lot about my future and what I want to do when I'm older. I think I want to become a lumberjack like most of my fellow friends, but there's this other part of me that's telling me to follow in my father's footsteps and become a hockey player like him. Of course, as every child learns how to walk, every Canadian learns how to play hockey. As soon as I could stand on my own two feet I was wearing skates and holding a stick in my hand and banging it on the ice. This is a photo of me after my first game and three teeth knocked out later:
My parents were so proud! A lot of Canadians have a few sets of false teeth laying around the house (or igloo's - same thing) because of the damage hockey has done. And if you're wondering if we freeze in there since it snows all the time in Canada (yes, this is a true fact! Snow all year round, because really, who needs summer?!), don't worry - we're born with an extra layer of fat underneath our skin to keep us warm during those cold Northern nights. 
One thing I really miss about home is my pets. I have a couple beavers, a cougar, a baby raccoon, and a polar bear. But my favourite is Canuck, my sweet, lovable moose who loves to watch South Park with me. I can't believe how much I miss him! At Christmas we 
Canuck in the backyard doing his thing.
decorate his antler's with snowballs and pine cones. On another note, all Canadians are completely bilingual. It's against the law not to speak both English and French, parce que really, who doesn't like reading the milk carton in two different languages? C'est vrai. In Canada, we also know how to spell colour, neighbour, flavour, and centre correctly, which is pleasant. Gee, I love my heritage.
Someone on the street the other day, after finding out I'm Canadian, actually asked me, "Can you buy milk all year round in Canada?" Excusez-moi? Why would someone ask me this? I told them, "Yeah, you can, but we have to get it from the Eskimo's since they run the milk show. You know how it is." They also asked me if it's true that we have giant horses with big ears. I think they meant moose, so I told them yes, and that we also have unicorns. This is kind of true, because we have narwhals, which are whales with horns. What's not to like?! 

My sister Nicole and I in Niagara Falls. I say she looks
like a tourist. She says she looks 'proud'.
The part of Canada I live in is Niagara Falls which is, in my opinion, the most naturally beautiful place in the world. We also produce something called 'ice wine', and if you don't know what this is, I feel sorry for you.
One of my friend's mom once worked at a tourist attraction in Niagara Falls and a man from Texas ask her what time they shut the Falls off. If you think I'm kidding, I'm not. I mean, really... How uneducated can a person possibly be? Everyone knows we turn the Falls off at 9 pm since we're all afraid of the dark! Silly Americans. It's safe to say we produce the finest comedians and hockey players, which is due to something in our water. Scientists still haven't quite figured it out yet. Also, have you ever had a timbit? If you haven't tried it, you need to book a flight to Canada immediately. We wear our pride politely with our flag on our backpack, right where it belongs. And let's face it, to all pf you reading from Europe - that's why you love us much! 

Some of our glories include ice skating on the Rideau Canal, drinking hot chocolate from Tim Hortons, and having a list of some talented musicians, politicians, authors and inventors (Trivial Pursuit, anyone?). Not only that, but Our Majesty the Queen is constantly swimming across the pond to visit her favourite 'home'. 
If you're ever planning a trip to Canada and have already done the skiing in Whistler, British Columbia, try white water rafting in our capital, Ottawa. If this doesn't suit you then you can always go to the Calgary stampede. And if that isn't your thing than go hiking and ride the Maid of the Mist in Niagara Falls. Or if you're more interested in fishing and whale watching, take a trip to the East Coast. If you feel like doing absolutely nothing, go to the Prairies to pick some wheat or whatever it is that people do out in Saskatoon. I'll be honest - I'm not even sure what they do out there. Or, if you're interested in experiencing Québec, then head
One feisty goose.
over to the Ice Hotel in Québec City. This is where there is a hotel made entirely out of ice and the best time to go is during the Winter Carnival, which is a 17 day celebration of all things cold.
Well, it's time for me to put on my toque and drink some beer now, so I'll end this, but I hope I cleared some stereotypes up for you! And if someone asks you how to spell Canada... It's C, eh, n, eh, d, eh.




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